Paula Pate, LCMFT
Inviting you to consider
LOVING WELL
AS A WAY OF LIFE
Coaching for couples, individuals, and families
interested in developing relationships built on integrity.
"May we all develop the strength to love well."
~ David Schnarch, Ph.D.
At the heart of consultations with you, Paula will utilize the Crucible® Therapy approach and Crucible Neurobiological Therapy (CNT), developed by Drs. David Schnarch and Ruth Morehouse. In solid relationships, this calls for prioritizing healthy functioning over feelings, dealing with difficult truths that while uniquely meaningful, are guaranteed to each of us at birth, and developing the capacity needed to welcome the eventual loss that loving well demands.
About Paula
I love the word "bittersweet." In Susan Cain's book by the same name she describes it as: "a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world.....(and that) the tragedy of life is linked inescapeably with its splendor."
I believe Dr. Schnarch, whom I was fortunate to train with for a number of years before his passing, would agree that this is inherent in what it means to "love well."
Not everyone longs for this sort of depth and meaning in their life but I'm passionate about working with clients who do. Certainly, this is not easy. It requires stubbornness from the best in you, a commitment to seeing yourself and your partner accurately, and the willingness to do what is your own best interest - including tolerating pain for growth.
My consultation style is straightforward. I'll utilize collaborative confrontation to speak to the part of you that wants to deal with yourself, stand on your own two feet, increase your capacity for intimacy with your partner, and develop deeper meaning in the important relationships in your life.
My education and training is in Marriage and Family Therapy and in my commitment to this approach to life, I participate in ongoing Crucible® Therapy and CNT workshops, webinars, trainings, and consulation groups led by committee members for the International Crucible Therapy Education Center.
Inspiration Programs
Our inspiration programs are designed to uplift your spirits, ignite your creativity, and fill your life with positivity. Join us in exploring the endless possibilities of living a fulfilling and joyful life.
"You don't have the choice between being anxious or not. Your choice is which anxiety do you prefer. Would you prefer the anxieties and benefits of option A or getting anxious and joyous over option B? In other words, do you want to be scared of this or grieve over that?"
~ David Schnarch, Ph.D.
More on the Crucible® Approach and
Crucible Neurobiological Therapy
The Crucible® Approach emphasizes increasing anxiety tolerance which is needed to create and consistently participate in intimate committed partnerships. Crucible® therapy focuses on the development of a solid sense of oneself and then holding onto oneself with important others - especially when there is pressure to accommodate.
Crucible Neurobiological Therapy is based on mind-mapping and traumatic mind-mapping. It is a brain-based approach to dealing with the short- and long-term impacts of interpersonal trauma.
"WE ALL HAVE TWO EXISTENTIAL OBLIGATIONS.
THE FIRST IS SIMPLY TO SURVIVE.
BUT THE SECOND IS TO CREATE A LIFE WORTH LIVING"
~Cain
Consultation
Options
I offer one-hour, 90-minute, and tw0-hour virtual consultations. Clients may schedule one session at a time or request to have a recurring appointment time on a weekly or bi-weekly basis.
I will not be offering you counseling services. Relational or personal consulting or coaching is different from counseling in that it requires a level of capacity in you, the client, to tolerate the process of direct input without it overwhelming you or compromising your general functioning. While effective coaching sometimes addresses family of origin patterns and history, it does so with an aim to uncover capacity and potential within you with a forward focus on you living up to your relational and personal potential. Consulting or coaching services are not generally covered by insurance.
"LOVE OF TRUTH PUTS YOU ON THE SPOT."